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Nicola's Story

**Warning - my story may trigger some people with a history of abuse**

 

During my life I have faced a lot of adversity, and I have found ways to overcome it.

I was sexually abused as a small child and faced both physical and emotional abuse. I had many scars from generational trauma and as a result of my experiences, my young-adult-self went on to enter into a number of emotionally and physically abusive relationships, and eventually went into full self-destructive mode.

 

I carried so much guilt, disgust, shame and a massive lack in confidence. I believed I didn't matter, that I was unloveable. I became dependant upon drugs and alcohol to cope with my trauma. Partially due to my addiction, I ended up getting in a situation that lead me to being date rapped. I then did everything I could to sabotage my relationships. I have cheated and I have been cheated on. I have been overweight and I have been underweight. I have battled an eating disorder, moved 18 times in 4 years, and done things I was ashamed to even tell my husband about. I have also been suicidal more times than I care to count. 

The point is, I had a rough time, gave others a rough time, and I lost my way completely in my life. I ended up alone and broke with a young child to raise and no idea of what, or who, I wanted to be... other than a good mother to my child.

 

I had a lot of pain to deal with, and that pain, coupled with the belief that I was broken and worthless, was making my life even more miserable. Deep down I knew there was a better life for me and my son... I just couldn’t seem to make it happen. I needed help.

When I really hit rock bottom the first time in 2012, I embarked on a massive personal growth journey. It was slow in the beginning, a gradual journey of self-discovery and self-actualisation. I had to unlearn a lot of unhelpful behaviours and learn how to understand my emotions, so I could then sway my thoughts, and change my actions.

 

I attended cognitive behavioural therapy to combat my eating disorder, underwent a LOT of counselling, and read literally hundreds of psychology, self-help books, related articles, blogs, and studies. I listened to podcasts and audio books too. Wherever I could find a moment to spare, I was searching up how to be a better human, how to get out of my hole. I wanted to be the best version of me that I could be.

 

And when I thought things were finally getting better, a member of the community started stalking me. This threw me back into the dark again. I really sat there dwelling for quite a long time...

But, eventually I got better. I continued to learn and grow. 

I overcame my eating disorder, managed my PTSD (including getting over my nightmares and constant flashbacks), healed my crippling persistent body pain and fatigue, my awful PMS, my lack of boundaries, and many other physical and mental ailments along my journey. And all WITHOUT medication. 

 

I have participated in countless workshops and courses related to trauma, well-being and success and I have continued to immerse myself in anything related to optimising human potential - ever since I started my own personal optimisation journey. 

And the one thing I can say with full conviction, is that when I realised what I wanted in life - three kids, a house I could do up, a studio office out in my back yard, and a way to contribute to the world - I made sure I did everything within my power to make that happen.

 

I am now a mum of three beautiful children, with a wonderful husband who has grown on a journey of his own during our years together. I am creating a career I love, doing what I do best - seeing the bigger picture and empowering people to create positive lasting change.

I am a certified Life Coach through NZ Life Coaching and have also completed a Transformational Coaching course. I hold a Certificate in Mental Health and Nutrition from the University of Canterbury too.

I also have a Bachelor of Design and I love creating in my spare time, 
things like; sustainable handmade leather goods, speciality invitations, hand sewn aprons, and much more.

 

In short - I live my life on my terms not anyone else's. I don't have a big fancy house or flash car, but what I do have, is what matters to me... time to raise my kids well, follow my passions, be more sustainable, and feed my family good home cooked food. 
 

I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning to live my dream life and I want to help other people realise they can overcome anything and live a truly amazing life too.

 

So... who am I to be your coach?

I am a woman who decided that life wasn't going to get the better of me, but rather, that I would get a better life.

I have walked through the dark and found the light and joy in life again. I know what it takes to get out of a rut, and to go where you want to go in life - wherever that might be.

 

Now...do you want to build the life of your dreams too? Let's find out what that looks like together. 

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