The 'N' Word
Updated: Feb 15, 2022
Today I'm talking about the N word.
You know the one. The awkward little word most of us are literally terrified of letting escape our lips.
If you are anything like me you might fear you will be judged poorly if you use it. But we are all thinking it...yup.
Sometimes it's really hard to say...NO.
A wee while ago, at my daughter's preschool, a mother asked me if I would join the committee. My gut screamed at me. And though I had ignored it in the past... for once I chose to listen to it.
My breath was stuck in my chest as I squeaked out a barely discernable..."No, I can't."
And just like that, I said it. I said the "N" word.
And you know what? As scary as it was for me... it actually felt pretty good. Really good in fact.
With three kids, a husband who works long hours and no family nearby, my cup can get pretty heavily depleted at times - especially if I'm not being particularly careful about how much help I'm pouring out. I wanted to say yes but I needed to say no. I wanted to help, but I realised that saying no to the committee group meant I would have more time to fill my own cup and give a true yes when I could, not a yes that might come with a side of resentment later (from me sitting seething at the state of my empty cup).
So I did it. I said no.
And what happened next was... kind of awesome.
I proceeded to fill my own cup with that time.
I looked for clarity in my life. I retrained in a field I love. I reinvented myself. I still helped out at the Preschool when I could, and gave a small donation too, but I said no to the extra commitment and I preserved my time. And you know what? As hard as it was to say no... I'm so glad I did.
We need people on committees - don't get me wrong here - I'm so grateful for those mums who can say yes and really give a lot to the education system. If joining a committee fills your cup... please join one... mums like me need mums like you!
I guess the point I am trying to get across, is that, saying no and setting healthy boundaries for yourself is hard sometimes. -especially when you first start out. BUT... sitting on your death bed knowing you didn't spend your time doing the things that were important to you, is probably going to be harder. And let's face it, saying a full body "YES!" when you have a full cup to give from feels pretty flipping great.
So, give it a try this week. Start small and say NO to something... so you can spend more of your time doing the things that matter to you.